When choosing a new home, you always hear people say ‘it just feels right’ when they find somewhere they like.
It’s actually one of the rare occasions people will openly admit to checking in with how something ‘feels’ to guide their decision making process.
So why don’t we use our feelings guide us more often? Well, a recent event of looking for a house myself along with my family gave me a glimpse into the answer for why we let our heads rule so much. (As well as why we shouldn’t.)
A house we went to view didn’t actually ‘feel good’. But we ignored that feeling, and instead proceeded from the thoughts in our heads – ‘it’s the best one we’ve seen’ (in our 7 day viewing period, I might add.) ‘it’s in our price range,’ ‘it’s got a big garden,’ ‘it has the amount of bedrooms we’re looking for,’ ‘we’re creative and will make it feel homely for us,’ ‘we have to accept that nowhere will be the same as our old house,’ ‘we have to set our sights a little lower than what we’ve been used to,’ – so we convinced ourselves with our ‘logical’ thinking, that it felt right.
We put an offer in. And then pretended it wasn’t happening. We didn’t start packing. Something told us there was no rush. We didn’t really talk about it, apart from to encourage each other we’d make it work. It felt forced, and uncomfortable, and stressful.
‘Well moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do’ people told us.
So we went with that.
‘That must be why this doesn’t feel good.’ ‘It’s ‘supposed’ to feel this stressful.’
And then we got the survey back on the house: Asbestos. Underpinning. Building.
Which simply meant: thousands of pounds of work required that we didn’t have the money for.
Which even more simply meant: A major reason not to go ahead.
A big fat sign from the Universe to say ‘don’t do it’.
And instead of feeling disappointed at losing a house we’d gone so far as to put an offer in for, we collectively felt a huge sense of: relief.
We didn’t have to move into the house that we’d now all discovered we were only going ahead with because we thought everyone else wanted to go ahead with. (Lesson #1: it’s important to communicate honestly when making a big decision like, oh just buying a house.)
And you’ll never guess. Or actually, if you’re familiar with the ways of the Universe, you probably will.
The day we decided to pull out of that house offer, the house we all loved from a few months’ back but of which had been out of our price range, was now available, very much in our price range, and open for viewing that day.
We put in an offer there and then. It was accepted. And it felt GREAT.
As in: champagne popping, planning decor, telling the world kind of great.
And we’re excited. And we’re packing. And we’re clearing out our old house. And we’re moving forward really quickly. And we’ve spent time getting familiar with the new village. And we’ve planned the colour scheme for every room. And it’s all happening in synchronicity.
And while in hindsight, we’re wondering ‘what were we thinking?!’ about the previous house choice, perhaps we just needed a major wake-up to remember the following lessons:
- Listen to your gut/heart
- Feel into your decisions
- Use your body as a compass and guide
- Trust that the Universe always has your back
- Communicate what you want
- And be sure to communicate what you don’t want, too
P.S. If you want support on where to begin with checking in on you, your feelings and your thoughts, my brand new FREE email course ‘Live Life on Purpose, Not Auto-Pilot‘ is the perfect kickstarter. You can get that here.